Sharon Plumb works for a statewide nonprofit in the outdoor recreation sector. She lives in East Montpelier with her husband and daughter.
In this installment of "What Class Are You?" Sharon talks about the advantages she sees in the lives of people whose parents are able to help their kids financially all the way into adulthood.
This interview was produced for the ear. We highly recommend listening to the audio. We’ve also provided a transcript, which has been edited for length and clarity.
Sharon Plumb: I grew up in Washington, Vermont, which is a little town a few towns over from here. And I had two parents. ... One was a teacher and one worked for the state, and they had both come from low-income situations themselves. My mom especially. Generational poverty, I think, was her background, and I think that helped shape my parents' perspective on finances a little bit, that they had made their own way to college and put themselves through college. And we had the expectation like, "You will go to college." So that, it was not an option.
And the kind of conversations we had � we were a pretty quiet family. There wasn't a lot of conversation, but if there was, it was around doing good in the world. And so by the time I'd seen my sisters go through college and I went to college, my values were pretty deep about caring for the earth and doing good for the world, as opposed to trying to find a way to make money.
I got a degree in natural resources, and I led bike tours, I led hiking holidays, I did a bunch of environmental education jobs, and I appreciated that lifestyle until I wanted to become a NOLS instructor. And I remember distinctly looking at what it would cost.
Erica Heilman: NOLS is an outdoor leadership school.
Sharon Plumb: I think I needed to get a Wilderness First Responder and pay for a training program � probably $3,000 or something. I remember talking to the intake person, and they just said, "Well, just ask your parents." That's when I finally put two and two together that this is something a lot of parents do for their adult children, even their children through elementary, high school, college and adult children.
I didn't understand in my 20s and even into my 30s, that for a lot of people, if they didn't have to pay for college � and my parents did help me, for sure, but I still had a lot of debt � if they pay for college, if they pay for your first car, if they buy a house, any of those things for you, it takes a generation to make up for that.
And if you're both, if you're making the same salary as somebody who's already ahead in that regard, because they don't have a student loan, or they don't have as many car payments, or their mortgage is really low or non-existent, then if they're making their $35,000 in their nonprofit world, and you're making your $35,000, they can still afford to go out for lunch and go out for dinner and do a lot of things, whereas I'm a really good budgeter, and I did really well, and I'm a good saver, but that $35,000, whatever's extra after the necessities, it takes years to maybe a lifetime to have that extra. And you start to feel defeated a little bit by not having the same opportunities.
And I think that's where my life started to � it came to a point when I was struggling with infertility, and the options available to me were so fewer than people who can afford multiple chances at IVF or who can go for surrogacy.
And those options were given to me by the medical providers, but then if you uncover the cost, you're like, "Well, where would I come up with whatever it was at the time � $14,000 for IVF with a 6% chance?" And it took our life savings to adopt. And I would never, ever choose anything else than what we did, but it took our life savings to do that.
And again, we know, we know � I don't want to trade my life. I love my life, and I feel incredibly lucky for all of the advantages that I have, but it can be a big struggle to make ends meet. You know, I live in a house that's 1,200 square feet. It's a little bit too small for our lifestyle, and the three of us.
Our taxes are getting to the point where it's unlivable for us. On paper, it looks like we're, I don't know what class you'd put us in. On paper, it looks like there's plenty. And there is. We're not hungry. But it feels almost impossible to get ahead, even if you have master's degrees and professional jobs and you're at management level. And some of that's, we made a choice. I'm working half time, and I have an Airbnb to make ends meet, and we did that by choice so that one of us would be available before and after school for my kiddo and not make our home life so stressful. That's a privilege, and I know that.
People feel safer and more understood with people that are kind of in the same boat. And when you're not in the same boat, it can feel really imbalanced.Sharon Plumb
Erica Heilman: What can be hard? Where does class or financial difference show up in social exchanges?
Sharon Plumb: People feel safer and more understood with people that are kind of in the same boat. And when you're not in the same boat, it can feel really imbalanced. You know, I've been in conversations where one person was just telling me that they've had to start going to the food shelf, and the other person is now embarking on a big conversation about the $5,000 sauna they just built. Like, how do you say, "This is a really imbalanced conversation."
I think what would help people in our small, rural Vermont communities � where there is such a wide diversity of people's experiences generationally with money, what resources they have, what fears and challenges they have with money � is if people could just be a little bit more curious and more sensitive about the people around them and where they have come from.