For over 40 years, HomeShare Vermont has been matching up people who have extra housing with people who need it. Each "match" is unique and based on the needs, interests and lifestyles of the people involved.
Today, Erica Heilman talks with Beth Butler and Shirley Hebert, who have been living together in Shirley鈥檚 house for nearly three years.
This interview was produced for the ear. We highly recommend listening to the audio. We鈥檝e also provided a transcript, which has been edited for length and clarity.
Television audio: The experience of looking for a job just got a lot easier.
Shirley Hebert: Cookies and hot chocolate. That's the best, right?
Beth Butler: Cookies and hot chocolate!
Erica Heilman: That's Beth Butler and Shirley Hebert. They are watching Wheel of Fortune after dinner in Shirley's living room in Essex Center. Beth is in her mid-50s and Shirley is rounding on 100.
Shirley has been living alone since her second husband died in 2005, and for a number of years after that, her six children would rotate in and out of her home to care for her and make it possible for her to stay in her home into old age. Then they found HomeShare Vermont, which is a program that matches people who own homes with extra space with people looking for affordable places to live.
Each arrangement is entirely customized to the needs of the people involved. For Beth and Shirley, it means Beth does most of the cooking for Shirley. She stays home at night so Shirley is not alone. She accompanies Shirley to Bingo on Monday nights 鈥� all in exchange for her own bedroom and bathroom and very affordable rent. It's a creative solution to terrible housing options, based on mutual need. Here's Beth Butler.
Erica Heilman: Why are you doing home share?
Beth Butler: Definitely to save money. Probably even if I have the money, I don't want to spend $1,800 a month or $1,500 鈥攚hich is the cheapest you could find for a studio maybe around here 鈥� just to sleep overnight.
Shirley Hebert: She's been with me over two years now.
Erica Heilman: There are a lot of people out there who are, who are lonely, and who are wondering 鈥� families, wondering what to do. What do you tell them about what this is like?
Shirley Hebert: Well, I have somebody that's here at night, and that's what I like most, because during the day I have things to do and at night I don't like to be alone. I don't like to be alone at night.
Erica Heilman: Why?
Shirley Hebert: It's scary. (Laughter)
Erica Heilman: I think that one of the things that's so hard for people 鈥� everybody's so worked up about their privacy. How do you learn another person?
Beth Butler: I think time, just time. I can cook stuff, right? I mean, she has many more years of experience than I do cooking, right? And she's taught me how to make gravy better, you know what I mean? Chipped beef gravy, you know, some of these old recipes that my grandma used to make. You know what I mean? Or she'll come into the kitchen "Is there anything I can do to help?"
And with time you get more comfortable with each other. I don't think it's a perfect science. You're not going to be perfectly getting along all the time, but I think we get along very well. And when it comes to the thermostat, she likes it at least 74. Me? I would like it just like at 68. But sometimes, when she's not looking, at night time after she goes to bed and she's under her covers, then I'll put it to 68 or 70, because that's good for menopausal women, and then I forget to turn it back up in the morning. And so a few times I get in trouble.
Shirley Hebert: And she cooks for me, and she's learning how to cook my way. (Laughter)
Erica Heilman: What do you do better?
Shirley Hebert: I don't know. Cooked all my life, bringing up six kids.
Erica Heilman: What have you taught her how to cook?
Shirley Hebert: A roux, to make a roux for salmon wiggle, or chip beef gravy, things like that.
Beth Butler: She doesn't like a bunch of other shows, so like we do Jeopardy! and Wheel of Fortune, and then she'll do game shows.
Erica Heilman: Who's better at Jeopardy!?
Beth Butler: I would say me (laughter) but Wheel of Fortune, both of us.
Erica Heilman: Somebody who has never lived this simply, which is a lot of people in our country, what do you know that they don't?
Beth Butler: I don't worry. I don't worry. There's not a lot for me to worry about. When you don't have as much, you don't have as much to worry about. When you don't have as much, you don't have as much to clean. When you don't have as much, you don't have to maybe work as hard.
Erica Heilman: But there's safety in having something.
Beth Butler: Right. So, you know, we were always taught the white picket fence, the job, the 9 to 5. I've never owned a home, and probably never will 鈥� not that I didn't want to, I almost did in Florida. So I think there's always those thoughts that go through your head about, "What is normal anymore?" However, about like not owning, let's say, for instance, not owning a home. There's a lot of risk with some of that, but then there's a lot of risk with it 鈥� owning one. Like property taxes just went up 30% or whatever for you, for Vermonters. It's like, "Why do I want all that either?"
Erica Heilman: We have a lot of needs, and you are a living example of how many more needs we have than we probably need. What do you say to people who say, "I couldn't pare down this much? I couldn't live in someone else's home.鈥�"What do you say?
Beth Butler: People can't have everything the way they want it. I mean, if you want a place to live and you don't have enough money or don't want to spend that money, you need to try something new. This is one place you don't need a lease, you don't need a deposit, you can literally try it for two weeks with just your clothes. See how you like it.
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